-Athira Unni
to see death in a petal of a flower
is to witness the garden reveal traps
mother’s wish is to send me to sleep
a three-day break I took from that
and counted curtain folds and tiles
when space finally happened between days
shut eyes saw neon honking dreams
of fast-moving trains and suicides
of chocolate in a vending machine
that refused to open like my eyes
burning from a negligent purpose
blessed by decaf, pills and a breathing app
waiting for the blast of sound in silence
when A used to sleep all the time
in his hostel bed even during exams
and me unable to during exams
now waking up to lights and scars
with wondrous leaves clinging to us
like dreams we brush off into compost
a collateral murder took place in sleep
a pimply child with his toy helicopter
once told me he wanted to die
I took the helicopter and threw it
it flew a distance and kept falling
and falling and falling until it went
to the place dreams go to die
and on a blue quilt I made my home
wrapped up tears in soggy cotton
waited for my hair to fall and wake up
to the heretic field of death
where sleep is the ferryman
and I paid with sanity to sleep
and meet my monsters once again
this, the cycle of my eyelids opening
and closing to your face, is flying
round and round and round
helicopters falling from the sky
__________________________
Athira Unni lives on coffee and thunderstorms. She is a PhD candidate at Leeds Beckett University, UK. Her debut poetry collection “Gaea and Other Poems” was published in September 2020. She blogs at chocolateandink.wordpress.com.
__________________________
‘Helicopters’ appeared in the April 2021 Issue of Pop the Culture Pill. Read the full issue here.
Subscribe to our newsletter for regular updates.
